Big day for Team Clammy Chamois today at the UTCX State Championships. Not only did Clay Adair take first, but by doing so became the “C” category state champ! This entitles him to all kinds of rights and privileges in the state of Utah. Amnesty on overdue library books, he can bump the line at In-n-Out Burger, and we are negotiating a meeting with Clay and former Utah Governor/Crazy Old Lady….Olene Walker.
Perhaps no one was more upset…..I mean excited for Clay than Pat Davis, who flatted early on and DNF’d. In fact, as a team we came down with a bad case of DNF. I was looking for Hamilton in the pack on the second lap, and found him standing on the sidelines ringing a cowbell. Another victim of the Heber Goathead. Prodigal Son/Unofficial teammate Wes managed to finish despite flat tires, finishing on his singlespeed “B” bike.
Honestly, it’s like the Thurgood’s are the only ones I can count on. Oh wait, Brad pulled off a finish in the Men’s C’s then got Tonya Harding’ed on the first lap of the Juniors. Another kid took him out and Clammy Chamois took our third DNF of the day. The highlight of my race was the bacon handup on the backside of the course. I missed the first one, got the second one. As a long time fan of bacon, I was excited at first. I did however learn a lesson about eating cold bacon from a stranger when you are already on the verge of puking in a CX race. It’s not a good idea. Avoided puking, but just barely, and was still reeling when, on later laps, they were offering doughnuts. Other handups included hot dogs, and beer. Keeping it classy at the state champs.
So, the tally goes, one state champ and three DNF’s, it was time to celebrate, or drown our sorrows depending on who you are.
A big pat on the back goes out to me for killing it with the Brats today. Colossimo’s sausages, cooked in Guinness Extra Stout, then finished on the grill. Carmelized onions reduced in the same stout, Kraut, mustard. It felt like I should be ashamed. But I wasn’t. When Kerry got there he said he brought a generator and a Hot Cocoa machine. I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t kidding.
Good thing we had killer Brats and Hot Cocoa because it was colder than a stepmothers heart. The C race was the warmest part of the day. Each subsequent race dropped at least 10 degrees. Maybe not the day to decide to stick around for the A race.
During the ladies race something caught my eye. Somebody was racing in a plaid mini-skirt. That seemed pretty rowdy, but then after the ladies race, she changed into something a little more comfortable.
To the uninformed(me), this is Mistress Julie. Yes that is a Bullwhip. Yes she does know how to use it. Let’s just say that everybody that raced after the women had a little extra motivation.
The skies continued to darken, and the snow began to fall. By the time the Men’s A’s rolled around the Heber Rodeo Grounds had become a winter wonderland. At least it felt like it.
Over the course of the hour, the leaders shed hangers on and soon it was just Bart Gillespie, Ali Goulet, and Eric Rasmussen. These guys were turning in five minute laps. Conditions made the course change on every lap. For the most part, Rasmussen and Goulet sat on Gillespies wheel. Gillespie, who had just returned from the La Ruta race in Costa Rica looked great until the final lap. Still in a pack as they left the race track for the grass and barricades I wasn’t sure if Gillespie cracked, or if Goulet just hit the nitrous. Rasmussen was able to hold onto Goulet, and they soon had about a four second gap on Gillespie coming to the last runup and the home stretch. It was thrilling to watch. It’s good to know, that everybody can be beaten. I found myself muffling my cheers for Goulet(Roger Gillespie was standing next to me). But you have to take your hat off to a guy that has worked that hard to beat his nemesis.
Congratulations to all the winners today, especially Clay. But if he ever changes teams, I am filing a formal petition to have him forced to upgrade.