Countdown To Mo-Town
Next saturday, I will be riding with four others in the 24 hours of Moab. It seemed like such a good idea back April or so when we signed up to get the discounted entry fee.
That early in the season, I figured I would certainly be in shape for several laps of the 15 mile course by October. Piece of cake. Take a lap, rest for a few hours while the skinny kids from the shop bring up the average. Maybe eat a little barbecue. Keep warm on the trainer while waiting for my next lap.
Back then I figured I'd be like 15 pounds lighter, have a resting heart rate of 35 or so, legs that looked like some kind of action figure. You know, I figured I'd probably catch the eye of some pro-team or sponsor and have to tell them no, I can't race professionally, I could never give up the exciting world of commercial building maintenance/heating and air conditioning repair.
Wellllllllll, that was back in April.
I actually spent the summer riding pretty much only with the club, only twice a week, and rarely for any extended distance or time. As you may or may not have noticed, I tend to shoot the breeze a lot while riding with the club, and I don't exactly maintain my target heart rate for any period of time. Also, I tend to prep for a big ride with McDonald's or equivalent and wash it down with a Full Throttle, or Rockstar if I'm really feeling it.
In short, as with life in general, I didn't really end up where I thought I'd be.
To make it worse, Rone dropped out and now Parrish is on my team. So now I get to be shown up by somebody who only rides twice a year, but still manages to maintain his girlish figure and be able to throw down without really trying. Also on the team is Mark. Pretty sure he's been secretly training all summer, luckily for me, he fell into a hole or something and is doing the race A.M.A. Riley has decided to stop chasing his "not girlfriend" for one weekend and buckle down for the race. Riley is always faster than me and I'm sure it will be no different next weekend. Which leaves Ryan. Who says he's in bad shape, but I'm not so sure. He didn't seem tired at all after a day of wandering around Interbike which is more than I can say for me. At least his expectations are realistic. Earlier this week he suggested that I take the first leg. He later admitted that it was just because he thought it would be funny to see my moobs jiggle on the Le Mans style start.
I guess the best I can hope for at this point is the "Miss Congeniality" award. I intend to be grilling deer steaks in between laps, and I'm stocking up on glow sticks for the night laps. It's going to be the return of the techno rave night ride for this dancing queen.
It should still be cool though. I plan to greet Tinker Juarez like an old friend after last weeks introduction. Maybe he's got some tips for me. Maybe next year I'll be so inspired and in shape I'll enter the Solo category.
Maybe not.
That early in the season, I figured I would certainly be in shape for several laps of the 15 mile course by October. Piece of cake. Take a lap, rest for a few hours while the skinny kids from the shop bring up the average. Maybe eat a little barbecue. Keep warm on the trainer while waiting for my next lap.
Back then I figured I'd be like 15 pounds lighter, have a resting heart rate of 35 or so, legs that looked like some kind of action figure. You know, I figured I'd probably catch the eye of some pro-team or sponsor and have to tell them no, I can't race professionally, I could never give up the exciting world of commercial building maintenance/heating and air conditioning repair.
Wellllllllll, that was back in April.
I actually spent the summer riding pretty much only with the club, only twice a week, and rarely for any extended distance or time. As you may or may not have noticed, I tend to shoot the breeze a lot while riding with the club, and I don't exactly maintain my target heart rate for any period of time. Also, I tend to prep for a big ride with McDonald's or equivalent and wash it down with a Full Throttle, or Rockstar if I'm really feeling it.
In short, as with life in general, I didn't really end up where I thought I'd be.
To make it worse, Rone dropped out and now Parrish is on my team. So now I get to be shown up by somebody who only rides twice a year, but still manages to maintain his girlish figure and be able to throw down without really trying. Also on the team is Mark. Pretty sure he's been secretly training all summer, luckily for me, he fell into a hole or something and is doing the race A.M.A. Riley has decided to stop chasing his "not girlfriend" for one weekend and buckle down for the race. Riley is always faster than me and I'm sure it will be no different next weekend. Which leaves Ryan. Who says he's in bad shape, but I'm not so sure. He didn't seem tired at all after a day of wandering around Interbike which is more than I can say for me. At least his expectations are realistic. Earlier this week he suggested that I take the first leg. He later admitted that it was just because he thought it would be funny to see my moobs jiggle on the Le Mans style start.
I guess the best I can hope for at this point is the "Miss Congeniality" award. I intend to be grilling deer steaks in between laps, and I'm stocking up on glow sticks for the night laps. It's going to be the return of the techno rave night ride for this dancing queen.
It should still be cool though. I plan to greet Tinker Juarez like an old friend after last weeks introduction. Maybe he's got some tips for me. Maybe next year I'll be so inspired and in shape I'll enter the Solo category.
Maybe not.
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